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Toilet bandits run amok across U.S.
Posted on Friday, October 5, 2012

In the opening scene of the action/comedy classic Pulp Fiction, Tim Roth's character, Ringo, explains to his girlfriend why looting a diner full of customers in broad daylight seems like a much better idea than robbing a bank.

"Nobody ever robs restaurants. Why not?" he muses. "Bars, liquor stores, gas stations - you'll get your head blow off sticking up one of them. Restaurants, on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. They're not expecting to get robbed. Not as expecting, anyway."

It would seem that one or more hooligans have applied the same logic to stealing toilets in fast food restaurants and have embarked on a multi-state crime-spree.

Seriously. Who would ever think to steal a toilet?

"It had to be a professional because there was no water on the floor," Alicia Leyva, a Dairy Queen night manager, told KATU Portland, an Oregon ABC affiliate station, the morning after the toilet disappeared from her place of employment. "There was none. You would think the water would have went everywhere." The news source spoke to a plumbing supplies salesman who confirmed her suspicion.

KATU also says a pair McDonald's franchises in Longview and Woodland, Oregon, have also reported their toilets mysteriously vanishing. By the news provider's estimates, scrap metal from disassembled johns could be exchanged for as much as $200 apiece.

Meanwhile, toilet theft has become a crime epidemic in Sioux Falls

In an eerie possible non-coincidence, virtually identical crimes have transpired at a Hardee's, Taco Bell and McDonald's in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, as reported by KSFY, another ABC-owned television station. In addition, $6,000 worth of commodes have been pilfered from five Burger Kings in Sioux Falls, the largest city in the Mount Rushmore State.

While police have no suspects in custody as of yet, the Argus Leader spoke to a police source who said law enforcement has a lead on culprits. Spokesman Sam Clemens told the daily newspaper that the cops have gotten their hands on a surveillance tape of two suspicious men standing beside a restaurant's bathroom, just before an employee discovered the toilet's piping had gone missing.

“There are probably more out there,” Clemens told the Leader, noting that police currently know of 14 toilets that have likely been heisted.



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