Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Puns abound in Walmart super glue incident

While it's not the first prank to be treated with gravity, it still may come as a shock to the felons who put a quick coating of superglue on the seat of a Monticello, Kentucky, Walmart toilet that they are wanted for charges of second degree assault. That's one serious April Fools.

When a Kentucky woman, who has understandably retained her anonymity, took a quick bathroom break during a shopping trip, she soon found that she couldn't get up from her toilet seat - and wouldn't for about an hour. After another individual heard the woman crying out from her stall, paramedics were summoned. The medical team worked carefully to remove the woman from the porcelain bowl, but were unable to extricate her from the seat itself. That was, thankfully, removed at an emergency room.

Who could perpetrate such a deeply uncomfortable prank? Or was it all a sticky twist of fate?

"We're looking at it," Monticello Police Department Chief Ralph Miniard told the Kentucky Post. "Right now, I wouldn't be prepared to say which way it was - accident or intention."

While officials aren't pointing fingers in any particular direction, the chances of a toilet seat becoming coated in super glue via innocent circumstances seem slim to none. It's also not the first case in which Walmart, adhesives and an innocent posterior came together. A similar fate befell a Maryland man earlier in the year.

Could there be a repeat offender? A serial super glue fiend? Or just a copycat prankster? Whoever these criminals might be, they've left their victims stuck in unfortunate situations.

These super glue crimes are also indicative of larger public restroom phobias. What's the best way to cure concern over shared toilet seats? While some might scoff at the ubiquitous paper toilet seat covers found in many establishments, one of those could have saved the anonymous duo of victims a lot of trouble.

Though no one should fear a Walmart bathroom, be sure to use proper sanitary etiquette and count on others to do the same. Clean up your messes, alert employees about replacing toilet paper or soap and don't ruin someone's day with a prank.

If the pranksters do exist and are still at large, hopefully Maryland and Kentucky police can hunt them down before they strike again. If it was all just an accident, one might want to be extra wary of where they casually lay their keister next.